I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
