Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
