Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
