Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
