She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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