I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
