but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
