i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
