hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize