i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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