Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize