Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
