Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
