my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
