I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
