Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
