There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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