M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
