Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
