You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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