Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
