sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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