A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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