this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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