Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
