My balls are so social today.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
