I love black thongs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
