Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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