well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
