put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
