The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
