did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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