She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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