she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
