Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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