Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
