Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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