No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
