hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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