I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he shaved USA in his pubs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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