is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
