i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
