We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
