I want to make a zoo with you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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