if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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