I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
