Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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