i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
