Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
