This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
