So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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