It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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