We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
