Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
