Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize