Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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