Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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