Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
her vagine was all disorganized.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
