This is not my ceiling
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize