the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
