Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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