its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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