i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
