dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
