ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Everclear isn't food dammit
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
