when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
