and she was petting her beer can
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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