i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
