OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize