I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
