i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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