Someone shit on the floor
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
