you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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