I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
