went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
